It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
