so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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