This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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