I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize