I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
