I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize