Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
