Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
