You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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