just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is the high leading the old right now
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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