wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
