this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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