we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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