I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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