im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
