Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
