I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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