so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
