we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
