Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
