I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
