I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
