I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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