Can i not drive my cunt home
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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