i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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