So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
