brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
