nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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