Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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