I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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