Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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