I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how can u be prego again
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
