we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
