Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
