I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
