I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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