Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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