Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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