I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
