Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
