Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i permit you to call me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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