hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
