and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
