is your mom at the bar?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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