Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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