.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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