I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
