On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize