the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize