Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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