I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
