i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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