Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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