Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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