Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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