i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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