Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
