mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
