You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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