Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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