Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize