Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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