You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
