i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drake has all the answers
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
