I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
please come you make the beer taste better
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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