i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize