walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
where are you?
Hypothermia
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
